The Truth Is…

In a perfect world everyone would tell the truth. The truth is though that a lot of people are scared of the truth. They are scared to tell the truth and scared to hear the truth. Sometimes we are scared to admit the truth to ourselves.

Maybe the truth goes deeper than: “does this make me look fat?” Or “I’m on my way”-when you haven’t left yet. Maybe the truth is “I’m hurting”, “I’m hiding”, “something isn’t right but I don’t know what it is”. Continue reading “The Truth Is…”

YOU are a Good Mom

Do you use over the counter medicines or all natural/ essential oils/ earthy products when your kids are sick?

It doesn’t matter. YOU are a good mom.

Does your kid go to daycare or stay home with you?

It doesn’t matter. YOU are a good mom.

Do you feed your kid fast food or cook from scratch?

It doesn’t matter. YOU are a good mom.

Does your kid go to public school, Christian school, or homeschool?

It doesn’t matter. YOU are a good mom.

Did you have a natural birth, c-section, pain management birth adoption…foster…etc?

It doesn’t matter. YOU are a good mom.

Breast or formula?

It doesn’t matter. YOU are a good mom.

The list could go on and on. I find myself reminding myself that I am a good mom even if I choose Tylenol over essential oils. If I opt to stay at home rather than go to work. If I set my kids in front of the tv all day because I just can’t deal. It’s not every day. It’s not every time. Organic vs store brand isn’t always the right answer.

Are your kids happy? Are you happy? Is your family being cared for in the best way that you can provide? YOU are a good mom.

Proverbs 31:28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;

Motherhood isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. That. Is. Okay. It is okay to have a bad moment or a bad day. Maybe even a bad week. I suggest not unpacking and living in that bad moment. Sometimes it’s okay to let it all out. To scream or cry. As mothers we tend to hold ourselves together for the sake of our family. I’m telling you from experience that it is not good to keep emotions all bottled up. You will eventually explode.

Find a good outlet. Try your best to get some alone time or time with a friend. Join a bible study or play group. Don’t let the title of mom define you. But still…YOU are a good mom.

I see you mama. You are tired. Overwhelmed. Done. The judgement sometimes comes flying at you. Unwanted opinions and articles are sent your way. I see you. I hear you. YOU are a good mom.

I am a good mom.

Cultivating Connection

This week I have been hit with small moments of depression. Any amount of depression, no matter how small, is not enjoyable. It hits me at weird times like when I’m driving to the store or a memory pops into my head. I can feel myself shutting down. I want so badly to let the darkness take over and just lay in a bed wallowing. That is exactly what Satan wants. He wants me to grab onto those dark feelings and fall into the pit of hopelessness.

Only by the grace of God am I able to pull myself out of that pit and shake off the darkness and function for my family.

Psalm 23:4 Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;

I am reminded pretty regularly how different we all are. How our mountains look extremely different from someone else’s and our valleys, or pits, can look different as well. But that doesn’t make my suffering or your suffering any less than that of someone else.

Continue reading “Cultivating Connection”

At Least

Two words I am trying to say less are “at least”. More specifically I am trying not to downplay someone’s suffering.

img_6526

When a friend tells you “I lost my pregnancy” is it your first instinct to reply with “at least it was early on” or “at least you already have a child”?

When a loved one shares with you the difficulty they are facing taking care of their parent is your first instinct to say “at least you still have that parent” or “at least you aren’t juggling small kids while taking care of your parent”?

When anyone shares a difficulty that they are facing my natural instinct is to downplay it or explain to them they what they are going through could be far worse. My first instinct is to compare their suffering to what I’ve suffered through. But the fact of the matter is that we all go through different suffering. Not one person can experience the exact same thing that another person is experiencing-not even siblings or a spouse. We all suffer differently and we all grieve differently. We all celebrate differently and experience different types of joy. Why? Because we are all created differently.

Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

I have definitely made more of an effort to think before I speak when someone is sharing something personal. I try extremely hard to not just reply with “at least…”. The best thing that I can do is listen, absorb, love and pray.

Romans 14:13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.

The best advice that I can give is to be honest but in a loving way. If you don’t understand then say something along the lines of “that sounds terrible, I cannot begin to understand what you are going through but I will be praying for you (maybe even pray in the moment if you are led to do so).

img_6497

There are so many things that I have never experienced but what I have experienced I am willing to share. I have had close friends refer me to their friends or family who are facing difficulties similar to mine; they weren’t able to help but they knew that I might have knowledge that could help or encourage.

Introverted Mom

Oh man, I am so an introvert. I absolutely cannot be in front of people. I do not like to be the center of attention. Please don’t make me talk to a group, lead a group, read out loud in front of a group. I was the kid that would sweat bullets when the teacher said “lets read out loud” or “I’m going to randomly call on people to answer the questions”. Lord help me my introverted-ness and my anxiety was absolutely paralyzing in school. I only realize that now…it was not obvious back then.

Most of the time, I need time to recuperate after an event. Being social drains my energy. I attended a bridal shower a few weeks ago and I literally needed 3 days before I felt normal. My energy was drained from forcing myself to be social. Every Monday after church is my recovery day from being around people. Life can be exhausting in the most unusual ways.

It may not seem that I am an introvert on paper. It’s easier to share my thoughts when no one is looking back at me. Blogging is serious therapy for me because I can get my words out without being in public. People can read it or not…thats not the point…I’ve said it before but I like to share what I am going through so that others who might be going through something similar will not feel alone.

It is so difficult to be an introvert and to be a parent. I want what is best for my child! I want him to be social and to thrive in situations where there are lots of people. I want him to be outgoing and to be able to make friends. How can I teach him that when I don’t even like leaving my seat during the “shake hands” time during church?

For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

I would love to be involved in mom groups or play groups but, to be honest, that kind of stuff is SUPER out of my comfort zone. I do not like new social situations- especially when there is no one that I know. We recently took a swimming class and that was out of my comfort zone but I felt that it was important to learn water safety since my little man loves the water. The first day of class I nearly had a panic attack because I didn’t know what to expect. We made it though. And it was great. We didn’t make any lifelong friends but I was able to be a normal human being for the sake of my child.

One thing that I have noticed is that my little man is okay with social situations. He willingly approaches other kids. He shares his toys with them. He initiates a game of tag. These things make me so proud as a parent. I cannot believe that a child of two introverts is able to build a social life better than we can.

Little man and I were in the airport last week and he was restless. There is not a lot to do for an almost 2 year old in a small airport. He was drawn to other families with kids. He went to them, he shared his tractor and a little girl, who was several years older than he, willingly played with him while we waited to board our plane. I did not have to do a thing except supervise. Praise God!

I am doing my best to step out of my comfort zone as a parent to allow for more social situations for my kid. We go to the park and to the library and that’s fine for us right now. Hopefully I will be able to overcome more barriers as he gets older and more social settings will be happening.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Philippians 4:11

As much as I do not like social situations I also have a need to be around other adults from time to time. That is why I am okay with having a few close friends. I can share with them because I trust them and they know me. Over the years I have learned that a few close friends is better than a thousand acquaintances. One thing is for sure and that is that God has been faithful to provide for me the right people in certain points in my life. My close friends have not always been the same people. They change based on the season of life that I am in and I believe that God does that on purpose. He always provides what we need at the moment we need it-even for me as an introvert.

Patience is a Virtue…or so I Thought.

I’m sure you’ve heard it a thousand times “patience is a virtue”. I have almost no patience and I would pray for God to bless me with patience on a daily basis. 

Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Not too long ago I read an article by a fellow mom blogger. I wish I would have saved it because I can’t remember her name or the blog to save my life. Anyway, she said that we should stop praying for patience but instead pray for understanding. Wow! This hit me hard. The whole concept made complete sense to me. Praying for understanding of a situation will help you to learn, process, and handle the situation properly. I would also like to add that you should pray for the ability to give and receive grace. 

Having a baby has changed my life in so many ways. One way is that I see how selfish I was in my previous life and how I was not flexible. I was set in my ways, I wanted to do my things my way in my timing. Do you see a pattern? My, my, my (me, me, me). Now almost everything revolves around little mans world. I still get to do things but not the way that I was so accustomed to. 

For instance… I love to cook from scratch. Little man doesn’t like it when I stand at the counter and do things that he can’t see. So, when I’m mixing, stirring, cutting, pouring, etc. he needs to see it or he will push me away from the counter. This drives me nuts. But I’ve learned that he just wants to see what’s going on. I’ll pick him up, show him what I’m doing, let him touch something or taste it and then he’s fine and on his merry way. I can’t tell you though how many times I’ve started making homemade pasta and ended up running dough through the pasta cutter with one hand. I’ve gotten good at it. 

Colossians 3:12 Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Another instance where my life has changed and I need to offer grace and understanding is going to the beach. In the days before little man I would go to the beach on any random day and spend my time lounging, tanning, reading and snacking. Now, it is a serious chore getting this child ready to go, get the car packed up, haul all our stuff to beach, set it up and start “relaxing”. Ha! What a fantasy that is.

I always had these glamorous images of me laying in the sun, reading a book and enjoying my time at the beach while my child plays quietly in the sand. I was out of my mind thinking this! When we go to the beach I have to be in the water keeping a strict eye on my little water lover who will be in over his head in 2.3 seconds. As soon as I get him rinsed off, free of all sand and placed on a towel he immediately reaches for the sand. Lord help me! 


The other day when we went to the beach little man started to have a melt down. He wasn’t hungry, or hot. I’m sure he was tired. He was inconsolable and it came on out of nowhere. I packed us up as quickly as I could. I didn’t bother drying myself off or changing him out of his wet clothes and swim diaper. We got in the car and drove home as quickly as the speed limit would allow. He screamed the entire time. I had to have my hand on his head the whole ride home. He almost never acts like that. I had to give him some grace for “ruining” my “relaxing” beach day. I had to give myself grace for overreacting and being upset the rest of the day. 


Yes, patience would have been helpful but understanding the situation and meeting my child’s needs was more important. He was tired and needed a nap…at home apparently. That’s okay! There are other days to go to the beach. 

Having a baby has taught me to be flexible and to not get my hopes up of having a “perfect” day. There is no such thing. I do my best to enjoy the little moments…no matter how short they are. 

“I will hold myself to a standard of grace not perfection” -Emily Ley