November is National Adoption Month. While this month is intended to raise awareness for foster adoption, I thought I would share my adoption story. I was not adopted through foster care.
When people find out that I am adopted I tend to get questions. These questions have been a part of my life and I’m used to it. I don’t get offended by questions and I will gladly answer any questions that come my way. These are the most common though…
Question 1: How old were you when you were adopted?
Answer: 3 days old.
Question 2: Have you met/do you know your birth parents?
Question 3: Does it bother you not knowing your medical history?
Answer: Most of the time no. Sometimes it would be nice to know a few things.
My adoptive parents, whom I will call my parents because that’s who they are, tried for many years to have children. My mom, for whatever reason, couldn’t have babies. She suffered through at least three miscarriages (that I know of). She never spoke of the details but I do know it was hard for her.
My dad was a pastor and my parents were both from Arkansas. They pastored at a few churches in Arkansas for a couple years before God called them to a church in Indiana. My parents prayed and my dad felt led to move from their home and their family and take this position in Indiana. My mom on the other hand DID NOT WANT TO GO.
Psalm 25:4-5 Show me your ways, , Guide me in your truth and teach me,,
I remember my mom telling me this story. She was on her face praying to God. Begging. Pleading. She didn’t want to go away from her family and move to Indiana. She cried and prayed and cried and prayed before finally giving in. She couldn’t understand why they needed to move to Indiana-where they knew no one. But she listened and obeyed.
My mom and dad were in Indiana for a year or so (my facts are a little fuzzy) and my mom had made friends. It was made clear that she couldn’t have children. One night in April they received a phone call. A nurse, my moms friend, who happened to attend my parents church, called my parents with a question. She knew that my parents couldn’t have babies and well…there was a baby born that didn’t have a home. “There’s a little girl here that needs a home. Would you be interested in adopting?”
Hint: that little girl was me.
Sadly I don’t know all of the details of everything that happened but the important thing is that they said yes! Within three days I had a home.
My story is unique. Adoption is very difficult. It is very costly. Adoption is a PROCESS! My parents had not filed for adoption. They had not filled out the paperwork. My birth mom hadn’t searched out for the perfect family for the baby she carried.
By listening and obeying Gods command all the puzzle pieces fell into place. My parents told me that I was a gift from God because they obeyed. Had they not moved to Indiana I would have had a very different story-or maybe no story at all. There was a plan and it played out perfectly.
Did my birth mom, who was 15 by the way, plan on having a baby? No. But God had a plan. Did my parents want to move to Indiana? No. But God had a plan. Did God place that nurse in the hospital on that shift for a purpose? Absolutely.
When we listen and obey great things will happen.
Are you afraid to move, start a new job, change schools, change careers? Are you hesitant to go on that mission trip or volunteer for a position at church? Is God tugging at your heart? Is God calling you to be a foster parent? If you listen and obey then you may play a role in a miracle. You may get to witness an actual gift of God being presented to someone. How fantastic to witness first hand and be a part of something great happening.
It is hard for me to think of myself as a blessing or a gift. I was definitely not the perfect child but I was given the perfect family. If I had not been adopted I wouldn’t have the family that I have now. I have wonderful aunts and uncles, cousins, one of whom I’ve been able to travel the world with. Though they are far away in Arkansas I still have relationships with them which has been so special since my parents have passed.
Ephesians 1: 3-6 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves.
Maybe you don’t have a family. Or maybe you do but you don’t have great relationships with them. Maybe you are an orphan or bounced from family to family. I want you to know that you can be a part of the family of God. He will never leave you or forsake you. He may not be there in the physical world but He is there to love you, protect you, forgive you, guide you and give you grace. He will provide someone in your life to love you unconditionally. Blood relative or not.
Do I want to meet my birth family? The short answer is yes. In fact I have searched for my birth mom on social media and I’m almost positive that I have found her. I have a great fear of being rejected and have not reached out to her yet. It’s all in God’s timing. Hopefully one day I will get to meet the person who chose to give me life.