A question I often receive is “Why don’t you work and just send him to daycare?”.
Disclaimer: I have absolutely no issue with daycare, babysitters, nannys, au pairs, etc. Every family is unique and only a parent can decide what works best for their child in their particular situation.
Before our little man arrived I honestly had no idea if I would return to work or stay at home. The decision is hard. Some moms know what they want to do but I really had to clue. I began researching local daycares. I asked friends where they took their kids, if they liked it, if they wish they could stay home or if they wish they would have sent their kids to daycare.
I worked a full time job. A basic office job answering phones and doing odd jobs that no one else wanted to do. I barely made more than minimum wage. I did not hate my job. In fact, I liked it. I liked the majority of people employed there and nothing that I did was awful. My boss was fantastic and I made some great friends there. The decision to leave was difficult.
My decision to stay at home came down to a few factors:
1. After paying for daycare I would be taking home somewhere between $50-$100 out of my paycheck- that would pay for my gas to get to and from work. This factor alone did not make sense to me to stay at work. I would basically be working to have little man in daycare.
2. I did not want someone else to raise my child. I wanted to be there for every moment. Every smile, laugh, cry. Every big moment like crawling and walking.
Do I ever wish I could go back to work? Absolutely! Being a stay at home mom is hard! On the days he cries non stop I wish I could drop him off somewhere so someone else can deal with the screams while I drown my anxiety in work. But the moment that I am able to clam him down and change his tears to laughter is heart melting.
So, what about socializing? We attend story time at the library and he goes in the nursery at chuch. No, he’s not being social with other kids every day but he is exposed to them.
I applaud working moms. I don’t know how you do it. I don’t know how you manage a household and care for your family and work. It literally blows my mind! You working moms are rock stars.
I also applaud the stay at home dads. You guys are able to do things most men wouldn’t even tip toe around while your wife brings home the bacon. Amazing!
If you stay at home and have a really bad day and you just want to pull your hair out and scream into a pillow give yourself grace. All stay at home moms have been there.
If you work and feel guilty for not being home with your child offer yourself grace. You are being a role model in your child’s life. Your child will grow up to know how much you love them and the sacrifices you made to provide for them.
Remember that every family is different and only you can determine what works for you and your family.
For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. John 1:16